I don’t like your Blue and Russet striped hair or your dragon tail. Did I hurt your feelings? No? Why, coz you don’t have Blue and Russet striped hair or a dragon tail? (I apologize if you do). So what I say has no power over you when you know what I’m saying is my opinion and it has nothing to do with you.
What if I called you Fat? Or ugly? Or Old? Or Stupid? Or a Loser? Or Good for Nothing? Or Annoying? Or Needy? Any of them push a button? Hopefully not, but if you are like like most people- meaning human, lol- chances are someone called you something that hurt you at some point in your life. Jerks!! How dare they? Wait… that was THEIR opinion of you so why did you feel the sting of feeling hurt? You wouldn’t be mad at them if they complained about your dragon tail. You know you don’t have one. Does it mean YOU think you’re Fat/ Ugly/ Old/ Stupid/ A loser/ Good For Nothing/ Annoying/ Needy etc?…
When someone says something that pushes a button that hurts… it’s not them doing the hurting. It’s YOU having a THOUGHT about what they said that does the hurting. If you don’t on some level agree with them that you are whatever they said you were and you don’t feel ashamed, unworthy, less than etc… you’re not gonna feel the hurt. If however you do, you just discovered a PAIN POINT! Great!! Now what? Well, you can call the other person a jerk and tell them to fuck off (and Namaste. You should, especially if it’s done maliciously, by the way. Abuse is not cool). But that doesn’t make the Pain Point go away and anyone else can take that person’s place and push the same button. This often happens since we tend to run the same patterns over and over until we change them. Read Why People Piss You Off and How to Make the Most of It.
You CAN also use this new found information for some Introspection. I LOVE discovering Pain Points nowadays because I get to realize something about my Limiting Beliefs and that means I have an OPPORTUNITY to work through them and get better. YES, You CAN replace Limiting Beliefs with New Ones that serve you. Read 4 Ways We Create New Beliefs and Patterns. What are some of your Pain Points and where do they come from? Would you like to replace them with empowering ones instead?